Friday, January 29, 2010

How dare you

I've got news. I just went for a run (not the news, but let's be real: it was avante garde of me) and when I came back I walked up to my apartment and saw that the furniture on our balcony was gone. "Oh how excellent," I thought, "We're getting pranked. I'm finally popular. I hope it's boys instead of the equally biceppy but not-as-willing-to-date-me Ally Beardsley." The door was locked. I pounded on it for 30 seconds and then peeked between the blinds, unearthing a robust woman with an asymmetrical bob standing frozen by my bedroom door, gazing at me with what I recognized as a thirst for my lifeblood. Armed robbery. I couldn't believe it. "HEY. HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE." She didn't move. I was already internally bleeding from my 3 laps around the track so after a minute-long stare down I retreated to the curb to await my roommates' return so they could do the dirty work: killing her.

Well anyway I'm bored of this charade, I'll cut to the chase... it was the wrong building. I swear to the heavens, the possibility of that didn't even occur to me, proving, ipso facto, physical exercise impairs knowledge retention. Someone do a study on that quick and get a recall on Stairmasters before someone gets hurt. Anyway I've been doing loads of fun things lately but I'm waiting on pictures to prove it. I'll be back soon.

Anatomically Correctly,
Mantis Refermat

p.s. Below is a little photographic taste of recent madness. Oh wait really quick that reminds me… One day on SAS I was checking out a library book and, when asked my surname by the librarian, said 'Refermat.' Some vegetarian (On a separate occasion I'd overheard him remark that beans were his only source of protein. I made some inferences.) poked his head out of the stacks and said "I have that movie." I was skeptical. We talked it out and all confusion was brought to rest: he'd thought I said "Reefer Madness: The Musical."

Monday, January 18, 2010

I’m back

Foreward by the author:

I've been home from abroad now for nearly a month and have battled my way through a small bouquet of hardships: a crashed hard drive, a relaxing case of mono, a devastating shortage of iCarly re-runs , the news that I'm getting braces again aka will never be popular, and a coming-of-age style realization that high school marching band doesn't give me the right to call myself "athletic" 5 years later. Having survived, am I stronger? No, not at all… I'm still impressively lazy and have the muscle definition of a weak cat. With that said, welcome to the jungle…


HEY! It's been a long time people... "my bad." It's cute of me to claim to be a blogger when I post exactly 5 times in the span of 6 months. Anyway, brushing that off, I've moved back on campus and am now bravely smiling down the tunnel of my final collegiate semester. Semester at Sea was like a dream; I can't get into that right now or I'll throw up on my laptop. Over the coming months I'll slip in posts about the final 5 countries which I never wrote about because I ran out of ship-board internet minutes. As I type, Southern California is poised at the beginning of a beautiful week of the worst storms in history. I'm very pleased. I simply adore going to class with wet hair without everyone assuming that it's back sweat down my shirt. Rain: The Great Equalizer. I look bad, you look bad. LET'S DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!

Stay tuned for tales of mud sledding and freshmen hydroplaning down caf lane. It's a wonderful world.

Signing off,

Mantis (short for Refermantis. I'm trying to get this to take off.)